Dear Charlie

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Dear Charlie,

I’m sorry we won’t be home for Easter. I wish we could be.

I’m sorry I’m not there a lot. It’s not fair. You have a mommy too and it seems as if I’m never there. This monster is stealing your mommy away most of the time and your daddy away a lot of the time. The monster inside sissy is eating up your last few months with your parents as a 2-year-old.

I’m sorry I’m not there Charlie. I’m sorry that we have to rush your bedtime routine, because sissy is hurting and we need to give her medicine. I’m sorry you can’t be a normal 2-year-old boy and be rough and tough. I’m sorry you have to be extra gentle. I’m sorry you have to learn these lessons so fast and furious.

I’m sorry we are hard on you sometimes because we don’t have the patience and time to let you learn easy and slow.

I miss you sweet boy. I miss you so much it kills me. I miss praying with you every night. I miss getting down in the floor and playing at night. I miss cooking dinners for you. I miss spending Saturdays in our pajamas. I miss going to the park with you.

You are being such a good boy. You have amazing family and friends who take care of you whenever your mommy and daddy can’t. You have been so easy going and so grown up about it for such a little boy.

I’m sorry that we haven’t made memories the last few weeks like we could have without the monster inside sissy. I’m sorry that you are feeling the consequences of the ‘C’ word. It’s not fair.

You are such a good big brother. You don’t get mad at sissy. You don’t hold a grudge because she’s getting more attention. You just hug her and kiss her. I know you worry about her. A two year old shouldn’t worry like you do. I want so badly to take that worry away from you.

I love you so much Charlie and I am so proud of you. You are such a sweet and smart little boy. I promise we will play ball for hours when LJ is well. I promise we will sing our hearts out. I promise we will ride bikes until the sun goes down. I promise our bedtime routine will resume soon.

Charlie, if there was anything I could do to be there for you more, I would do it. I’m sorry sweet boy. I love you

Love,

Your Mama

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One thought on “Dear Charlie

  1. I pray for your family daily. You are in my thoughts often. I hate what you are going through. I hate what your sweet babies are going through. I am inspired by you. My son was diagnosed at the age 8 with the ‘C’ word. At the time I was 7 months pregnant and we had a 5 year old. We missed alot of time with our 5 year old and my son missed out on about 2 and half years of his life. I kept thinking he was robbed of those last great childhood years. You know, the ones before you were too old for this or too cool for that. I cried often. It is tough seeing your child in so much pain and need, knowing you can not do anything for them. Prayer was my best friend. I am happy to say my son has been finished with treatment for 3 years now. We were blessed in many ways. I love your blog and I will continue to pray for little Lucy with lots of love. You are an amazing mommy and Charlie will always know that!

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